Blood Ties (Zuka)

[Zuka]

It was such a relief to see Zula start to understand things, that there was no more yelling and arguing and Zuka had seen her sisters shoulders relax and her face soften as she told her about how The Talon came to be. When Zula finally did speak and told her she believed she had been doing the right thing Zuka didn’t say anything but she didn’t exactly agree with her…It hadn’t been that way in the beginning. No matter how she tried to paint the picture of the ‘peoples Triad leader” Zuka had still been a Triad and had done some pretty horrible things for that. Even when she decided to use The Talon it was simply as a means to a end, to further her Triads hold and cripple her competition. It might have grown into helping others but she couldn’t lie and say that it had been that way from the start.

”You had every right to be angry. “ Zuka had felt the same when she had learned of Zulas own masked identity but she hadn’t been there to tell her sister all the hardships that life would bring her. However, she was here now.

”Trouble has always found you”

Zuka laughed again at that. ”Yeah, he says that too.” Kenji had always told her she either caused trouble or it followed her wherever she went and she couldn’t say anything against that because it was the truth. No matter where she went or what she did somehow Zuka found herself in the thick of things.

Zulas next question however made her stop and think for a moment. What was their long term plan? Living as Kaito and Umi on the island was nice. Life was quiet and their relationship was getting stronger but is that really what they were going to do for the rest of their life? It hadn’t been discussed much since they left and as much as she wanted to go back to being Kenji and Zuka she didn’t know if they would ever get that chance again. ”I don’t know. “ It was the simplest answer she could give ”were not out of the woods yet and there’s no telling when and if that will ever happen.”

[Zula]

Maybe Zula shouldn’t have expected a concrete answer for that one. It was strange, when every other question she posed had gotten some sort of reply with plenty of detail, to come across one without it. Everything seemed so planned out that she had forgotten that there were things that even Zuka herself didn’t know. Zula nodded, “Of course...thank you, for telling me, I mean. I know that you have spent a long time hiding the truth from me.”

She fell quiet after that, and realized just where they were now. Zuka had answered her questions, filled in all the blanks with everything she needed. That left her as the one to start talking, and even if that was what she had agreed, she wanted to shy away from it now. Zula was not open about her feelings and she never had been. The only reason Neva knew all that she did was because it had been the lowest point of Zula’s life and she’d come undone and confessed it all.

But she was past that now, and she never had been good with her feelings. The walls all wanted to stay up and urged her to stay quiet, but she knew that wasn’t going to work. If Zuka had given her answers, she was going to have to do the same. This would be easier if she could just spill it all out, but she knew it was going to take some prodding and direction to actually get her to talk. She shifted, slightly uncomfortable, and said with a small sigh, “Well….I suppose it is your turn to ask the questions. Whatever you want to know, ask it.”

[Zuka]

When Zula thanked her Zuka nodded a little ”you’re welcome, though, this conversation should have happened a long time ago. It would have saved us both so much grief.” If she hadn’t been so adamant on keeping Zula in the dark in order to shield her from the dangers of this life then perhaps they wouldn’t have had such a strained relationship and she could have let her sister in on her and Kenjis plan. That just was never how it was meant to be sadly but at least now they were working on fixing that.

When it became her turn to ask the questions Zuka thought for a moment. There were a lot of things she wanted to know, a lot of things she wanted to shake her sister for and make her see reason but…Zula had sat and listened to her quietly and Zuka was going to have to do the same. Looking up at her sister she could see the uneasiness in her face. Zula had always been so closed off and she could tell that it wouldn’t be easy for her but…Zuka had given her the answers she wanted and now it was Zulas turn.

”How did you end up In the Agni Kais? “ She finally asked. It was a question that had kept her awake at night ever since she had learned of it from Nevas letter. ” I know I never told you about what Han did to me but you’re smart Zula and I knew you would piece it together. Of all the Triads in the city why that one? Why a Triad to begin with?” It was one thing she could never figure out.

[Zula]

In all honesty, there was not one question that Zula was looking forward to answering. All of them carried their own weight, and in the back of her mind there was one story she was dreading to tell; what had really driven her to end up where she was. That being said, talking about Han and the Kais was the second question on that list that she absolutely did not want to answer. But she owed Zuka an answer, especially when Zula knew how much it must have hurt to find out what she’d done.

“I never intended to end up with a Triad,” Zula began, clasping her hands together tightly in her lap. “I was in a very...dark place, to say the least. I was in the rings every chance I had, and it became the only life I really knew. One night I was leaving and Han was there. He’d seen me fight and recognized who I was and stopped me on the way out. I got away from him and I thought that had been it, but he ended up following me to the Full Moon Bar.”

She didn’t know if Neva had informed Zuka about that other part of her previous night life, but she wasn’t going to bring it up yet. “I figured the only way to get rid of him was to talk to him, and of course he said whatever he could to get under my skin. He told me that whatever I was trying to do was going to get me killed and I needed to be protected. But that was the thing, I didn’t want to be protected, I wanted to keep doing what I was doing. Once he knew that, he told me to come run with the Kais and he’d show me what Republic City was really like, its true darkness.”

Zula knew it didn’t sound good, and no matter how she explained it wouldn’t make it any better. But she forced herself to continue, “At first I denied it immediately. I didn’t want to be involved in the Triads, and if I did I would rather have gone to the Dolls. I despised him, I always have, and I did know what he had done to you. I knew that I shouldn’t get involved, and if I did and you were here, you’d never forgive me for it.”

The dilemma had almost torn her apart, and her decision was not without guilt. “But in the end, I went to him and agreed to it. I did it, because I didn’t have anyone else, and I wanted so badly to stop being shielded from everything. Han wouldn’t keep me shielded, and he didn’t. He showed me everything I could have possibly wanted to know about this city, it’s darkest corners. I knew he was using me for something, but I let it happen because I was using him. I didn’t ever consider myself a Kai. I just went along with it to get what I wanted. I didn't really have anything left to lose.”

It was sick, really, that for the longest time Han had been really the only one that had offered to help her in a twisted way. “I let it continue and he let his guard down enough that I learned enough about the Triad that if he wanted to ever try to expose me, I could ruin everything he had. That was going to be my hold over him, but then I ran into Neva and she convinced me to quit. Of course that didn’t sit well with him and he came after me...and well, I got the vengeance on him that I always wanted, for you and for me.”

[Zuka]

It hurt to know that she had caused her sister so much pain and while she knew Zula would grieve she didn’t think it would have been this bad. Of course…had the situation been reverse Zuka knew she would have done horrible things as well. Losing a sibling was one thing but losing a twin was like losing a part of yourself and Zuka knew that no matter what happened she could never give Zula back that time she had taken from her.

The mention of the fighting rings made Zuka raise a brow slightly. She hadn’t heard about that and that was so…unlike her sister. Zula had changed, there was more of a darkness to her now she could see it cross her face as she told her story about Han. That snake, he would stop at nothing. Zuka had no doubt that he was looking for a replacement or a way to stick it to her one last time..probably both. Zuka truly couldn’t say anything to Zula because she had done the same back in Omashu, joined the rat vipers to get to know the ins and outs but still…the fact that it was Han still felt like a stab in the back.

Zuka set her jaw and let it pass, there was no use in arguing over it. What’s done was done and now Han was dead. Zuka was proud of her sister however for getting revenge on Han, all things considered she wish she could have been there to see that.

”The fighting rings?” Zuka asked. Zula had never been a fighter, to her bending had been nothing but a art form and she had never seen her sister use her bending in a practical fight so for her to enter the underground fights should have been suicide. ”What about your job? What about home?” How did Feena feel about her remaining daughter spending all of her time in Republic City so far away from home.

[Zula]

There it was, the question that she was dreading to answer. She knew she would have to get back to answering the others, and part of her wanted to jump into them first. But she knew that without her telling the start of all of this, her actions wouldn’t make much sense, nor would her sister be getting the full reasoning. Was she right to tell Zuka this, was it her story to tell? She’d never expected that she’d get to tell Zuka this, and well...Feena wouldn’t find out that her other daughter was alive for a long time, if ever. Zuka had a right to know this, and remembering how she’d felt that day send a flicker of anger through her yet again.

She felt it on her face and she reined it in, taking a deep breath, “There is something you need to know about home, about our family. You of all people deserve to know the truth.”

The betrayal rose in her, striking her all over again. Zula pressed her lips together for a moment, and then forced herself to speak calmly, to not let the pain of it override her senses again. “After I found out about your death, I returned to the Fire Nation. I knew that someone had to tell Mother and I felt it had to be me. Once she found out I called off all future engagements in Republic City. Mother was a wreck, the whole house was in mourning...I knew I had to be by her side for as long as it took.”

Zula looked to her hands a moment, and then forced herself to look back up at Zuka. She would tell her sister this by looking her in the eye, whatever if she saw the pain. It was going to hurt no matter what, and she was certain it would elicit a strong response from Zuka too. “One evening we were sitting together and she seemed especially distraught. I asked her what was wrong, and she told me that she wished she could make amends with you. That was when she told me all about her life...and that she had once been defiant, adventurous, and wanting nothing to do with her noble life.”

She watched Zuka’s reaction as she spoke, “When Mother was young, she travelled all over the world, defied her own parents. When she met Father, she begged them to let her marry him. The only way she was allowed was if she fully committed to being a noble, and making up for her defiant ways. So, she set out to make sure we followed exactly in line with our lineage, to make up for what she had done.”

Zula clenched her hands in her lap, remembering how she’d stormed out, and the look on Feena’s face. “When I learned that, all I could think was how much of a lie my life was. I spent it trying to be as perfect as her, and it was all for nothing. She put us through that, made your life miserable, when she had been just like you once. I couldn’t bear it. I had to leave, and I did the next morning without her knowing. I haven’t answered a single letter since.”

Zula paused then, looking to Zuka. There was more to say, but she wanted to give Zuka a chance to let that sink in before she continued. It had been so hard for her to take, she couldn’t imagine what Zuka felt knowing that their mother had done this to her for all these years.

[Zuka]

Zuka watched her sisters reactions to the questions she had asked and she didn’t understand them. Zula looked angry and she adverted her eyes from her and looked down into her lap. Had she said something wrong? Thinking back she didn’t think she had, all she had asked was how she could do all of this and still keep her home life and her work separate from them all. Zuka was sure a bruised and beaten noble woman and ambassador would raise a lot of eyebrows at the consulate.

“There is something you need to know about home, about our family. You of all people deserve to know the truth.”

A look of extreme confusion crossed Zukas face. Had something happened? Was their mother dead? A million different scenarios ran through her mind and she sat up a little more and leaned forward waiting for Zula to give her answers.

Mother was a wreck, the whole house was in mourning...I knew I had to be by her side for as long as it took.”

Hearing that their mother was distraught over her death made Zuka feel guilty and sad and the confusion that had been on Zukas face turned to sadness as she looked away for a moment. As much as she despised their mother at times Feena was still their mother and she still loved her and she hated the feeling of leaving her to think that one of her daughters was dead.

Zula continued and she listened, still looking down at her feet but when she got to the part in her story about their mother in her youth Zukas eyes snapped back to Zula as her look of sadness was replaced with more confusion and anger. All of this time Feena had been punishing her for things she had done herself. Not once had Feena ever stopped to explain to Zuka why she had been so hard on her, if she had then Zuka probably would have been more willing to understand the strictness but no. Instead Feena talked down to her, punished her, forced her to be something she didn’t want to be all because she had decided to let her family rule her life.

Zuka’s hands clenched into tight fist while her eyes began to swell with tears. She was so angry! Feena had ruined and taken so much from her and Zula.  Feena had pitted the girls against each other, made them have favorites between their parents, strained her and Zula’s relationship but it all made sense now and Zuka didn’t think she could ever forgive their mother for that, especially after now knowing the truth.

That feeling of guilt she had earlier was gone.

As the tears began to pool in the corner of her eyes Zuka fought them back before she actually started crying and unclenched her fist to bring her hands up to cover her eyes as she exhaled deeply. Zuka remained like that for a moment before removing her hands from her face, bringing one to wipe under her eye and she made a ‘ugh’ sound as she did. ”Wow…I” she wiped the other side and cleared her throat ”I’m glad you finally got out.” Zuka didn’t want to talk about how she felt right now, she was so hurt and angry and she didn’t know how to process this without hitting something but she was glad that Zula had finally seen past the box their mother had put her in. ”That you can finally be your own person.”

[Zula]

Her reaction reminded Zula so much of her own in the way that the emotions played across her face. This was the one thing she could say she understood completely. Even reliving it now, saying it out loud to her sister was different than telling Neva. This was the person who had also suffered under Feena’s strictness, under her expectations and iron rule. As the tears welled up in Zuka’s eyes, Zula stood and moved so that she was sitting beside her sister. The angry space that Zula had purposely kept between them was diminished now to something more like how they used to be back when one of them was upset as kids, typically Zuka upset over what Feena had said. Back before Zula had learned how to completely shut herself off and forgot what it was like to be there emotionally for someone.

She waited, giving Zuka all the time she needed, and when she finally spoke again Zula gave a small ‘heh’ and leaned forwards a little, finally crossing her arms. In all actuality she was more hugging herself than anything in an effort to hold herself together. “I wish it had been that simple. It’s what made me snap, really. I felt like I didn’t know myself at all anymore. I lost Mother in that moment, I’d already lost you...and I’ve always felt guilty about Father. I chose Mother over him, and once I knew the truth, once I realized that it was all for nothing...it all was too much.”

Zula took a deep breath, she could feel the tears in her throat but she didn’t want to let them fall. She’d never admitted that to Zuka before, she rarely spoke of their father because she felt so guilty, but she had to say it now. “I went back to Republic City and worked until I was granted permission to be the ambassador directly for Republic City to the Fire Nation. I thought if I held onto that, if I just focused on being the face of the Fire Nation I’d be alright. But...work slowed. Everything became so spaced out and I wasn’t needed at the consulate as often. Once I didn’t have make many appearances and my meetings were far in the future I just...fell apart.”

She clenched her hands tightly on her arms, pressing her lips together. “I ended up in the Triad bars, I didn’t care anymore. I was so...lost. And then I ended up in a fight, with Kais actually, and I got beaten so badly. I was so frustrated and angry, I was tired of being kept in the dark. So I went to the fighting rings to learn how to fight. Then when that wasn’t enough, I got in the rings. I worked my way up, used an alias...Zara, actually. That’s what the streets ended up knowing me as, even Han played it up. And I kept getting beaten, I kept having to go to healers when it was too much, but I got back in. I honestly couldn’t stop. I had to be perfect and I needed a purpose, and that was it.”

A small laugh left her, but it was bitter. “By the time Neva found me, I was unrecognizable. No one would ever have guessed it was the ambassador throwing herself in the rings and drinking herself away at the bars, or fighting turf wars with the Kais. And no one ever figured it out.”

[Zuka]

Zuka took a deep breath to steady herself and when she heard movement she looked up and saw that Zula had moved to sit beside her and Zuka turned slightly so she could see her. Watching her sister hug herself, knowing how she had to be feeling right now and knowing how she felt herself Zuka reached over and wrapped her arms around her sister and held her tightly. Both of them needed comfort right now.

The mention of their father and how Zula had chosen their mother over him and her regret for that made Zuka shake her head a little. ”He loved you Zula, when we would leave he talked about you all the time. “Zula would love this, what should I bring back for Zula? We need to bring her with us next time” He knew you loved him too and I think he understood why you stayed with mother. “

It had always bothered her that she could never figure out how someone like their father had ended up with their mother. They were complete opposites but now she knew the truth and it all made a lot more sense.

As Zula explained about how she had ended up in the fighting rings Zuka released Zula from her hug and sat back up. Well, she supposed it was good that Zula learned how to fight a real fight she only wished she had been there to teach her instead. The fighting rings were unforgiving; Zuka had seen a fair amount of people die in the ring, Zula had taken a great risk going there and going to the Triad bars.

”All things considered I’m glad Neva found you.” Of course it had thrown a wrench in her whole plan having the two of them become friends but now she was glad it had happened.

[Zula]

Hearing that her father loved her helped more than she’d expected. Zula wished so badly she could go back and get to know their father more, to have learned from him and not pulled away like she had done. Going into the past wasn’t an option, but knowing that her father didn’t feel unloved by her, that he knew the position she was in, helped ease a bit of that pain. The guilt was still there and it would probably be there for a long time, but Zula knew that perhaps she could start to recover. She had begun to come to terms with parts of her life and it was a long road ahead, though it left many possibilities to be had.

“Me too,” she said. “She got me back to normal, and helped me get myself together just in time before I had to show up for any meetings. I owe her greatly.”

If she hadn’t met Neva that night, there was no telling where she’d be now. Still with the Kais was a great possibility, as were some other options she didn’t like to think about. She’d been on such a dark road that there was no telling what she’d do next, and thankfully Neva had stopped her before she’d done anything else that could have had detrimental consequences."I see why you're friends with her. I'm thankful for however many times she may have helped you, too."

Zula straightened back up in her seat, knowing that she wasn’t quite out of the clear yet. “Anything else you’d like to know?”

She knew Zuka was probably going to try and pry The Cinder from her. The mask was not off the table, just pushed to the background, but Zula would be happy to not discuss it. What she’d said already was exhausting enough and pulling at all her emotions, and she really didn’t want to have to get into the discussion of her night life. She highly doubted Zuka was going to let it go that easily, much to her dismay.

[Zuka]

"I see why you're friends with her. I'm thankful for however many times she may have helped you, too."

”More than I can count. Neva healed and put me back together almost nightly when I really got into The Talon, if it wasn’t for her I never would have made it this far.” Now that they were back on the subject of The Talon there was still the issue of The Cinder that they needed to talk about and it looked like she was going to get her chance.

When Zula asked her if there was anything else she wanted to ask Zuka waited a moment as she thought about how she wanted to approach this. They had just come so far and she didn’t want to ruin all of that but this was something that had to be done. ”I think you know whats next.” Zuka adjusted herself in the seat, turning more to her side facing Zula and tucking one leg underneath her while the other foot remained planted on the floor. With a sigh she began.

”I know the feeling you get when you put on a mask, it’s a powerful feeling one that’s hard to match but Zula, this is a dangerous life.” Zuka knew Zula knew this was dangerous but before their first conversation today she didn’t really know how dangerous. ”The deeper you get into this the harder it is going to be. Look what happened to me, what I had to put my friends and family through to keep them safe and if a new masked ‘spirit’ pops up in the city the Triads are going to think you’re associated with us and will rain hell on you. “ Zuka couldn’t live with herself if something happened to Zula because of what she and Kenji did. She stopped there for a moment, there was more she wanted to say but she didn’t want to drop everything on her at once.

[Zula]

Well, there was definitely no escaping this conversation now. Zula withheld a sigh as Zuka adjusted to face her, and Zula did the same, angling her body so that she was facing her more. She liked them being able to communicate without fighting, and she didn’t want it to have to come to that again. As much as she didn’t want to hear what was coming, Zula would be patient and listen. She’d do whatever she could to keep it under control, and keeping her own feelings in line and not jumping to the defensive was a task she was prepared to do.

After all, she was a diplomat.

Zula listened as Zuka spoke, nodding along to what she said. Zuka was not wrong, it was a dangerous life and after hearing all she had today, she knew it ten times more. Unfortunately, it had no effect on her mindset. She was no more dissuaded than she’d been at the beginning, though no more encouraged either.

“I understand, it’s not something you want for me. You don’t want me to get hurt, and you don't want me living my life that way.” Acknowledging how Zuka felt seemed something she needed to start with, at least. “The Cinder is not something that I do on a regular basis, and the Triads aren’t really my focus. I play by Neva’s rules, and now I see why she insists on them. It hasn’t consumed my life, it’s something I use when I feel it is necessary, when being a diplomat just doesn’t work and I need to make a point.”

[Zuka]

"It never starts out that way." Zuka had never intended to use The Talon more than she needed and looked what happened to her. Zula did not seem swayed by what she had told her and in fact she seemed set in her ways. It was annoying how bullheaded she was being and Zuka assumed this had to be how Kenji felt every time Zuka refused to take his advice or see reason.

With a large sigh Zuka brought her hand up and pinched the bridge of her nose like Zula had done earlier. While she was glad that Neva was keeping Zula in line for the most part that didn't stop the other things from happening. It would be so easy to turn this into another argument, Zuka wanted to shake her sister and yell at her to try to get it in her head just how bad of a idea this was but it would do no good. If anything it would only make her want to do it more, after all, thats exactly what Zuka would do. Tell her she cant do something and she will turn around and do that very thing simply out of spite.

it’s something I use when I feel it is necessary, when being a diplomat just doesn’t work and I need to make a point.”

That was exactly what Zuka had done with Arluk, when she couldn't confront him directly she made up a alter ego so she could take care of what she needed to. Ugh, this was frustrating.

With another sigh Zuka removed her hand from the bridge of her nose and looked back at her sister. "Look, I know nothing I say is going to change your mind, clearly you already have it made up and I don't think I even have a right to tell you not to do this but if I can't convince you after everything I've told you please just be careful. I dont want to get a letter saying that something happened to you." Zuka didn't know what else to say that would make any difference to Zula and she hoped that her sister would at least make sure she was safe.

[Zula]

She knew Zuka was frustrated, and if the scenario was flipped, Zula would have felt the same way. It was so hard to get the other one of them to see things their way, and it always had been. But this time, Zula couldn’t comply to what her sister wanted for the sake of peace. She couldn’t throw away The Cinder, not now. Though to see that Zuka wasn’t going to fight with her on it was a relief. Zula didn’t know that she even had the energy to fight right now.

“I will be careful,” Zula promised with a nod. “I’ve lived my whole life the way everyone wants me to, Zuka. Nothing was ever my choice. This was a decision I made, for myself. I know the risks, and I will do my best to go about it as safely as I can.”

It was all she could promise. She would not promise to quit, she would not promise that everything would go well. With everything that had happened in recent times, she knew that the future was about as uncertain as it could get. All she could do was try to stick by her word, and try to reassure Zuka that she would do her best to be alright.

She paused, and then added, “I never would have thought this, but I am glad that you know about it. I don’t like having to keep things from you. And I know it did not seem like it earlier but...I am very happy that you’re alive, Zuka.”

Waiting a moment longer was not bearable, and with all the anger out of the way and the issues discussed, it gave her the push to act. Zula reached over and wrapped her arms around her sister in a tight hug, what she should have done the moment she realized Zuka was here. “I’ve missed you so much.”

[Zuka]

When Zula said she would be careful Zuka had to bite her lip to keep some saying anything else, there was no changing her mind and there was nothing more she could do. Zuka had told her the risk and the dangers and now it was up to Zula an she hoped that her sister kept to her promise to stay safe.

"I never liked keeping things from you either, I'm sorry for that. If I hadn't maybe this could have all turned out a lot differently." Whats done was done now but if she could go back Zuka would have let Zula in on things instead of keeping her in the dark and pushing her away.


As arms wrapped around her Zuka returned the hug and squeezed, closing her eyes and just enjoying the hug. It had been so long since they had a hug that actually meant something, usually it was just some quick thing but this was a real hug and it was nice. "I've missed you too, you have no idea how much." It was more than just since she had been in hiding.
Zuka had been missing her sister for years.